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Much to my surprise, I spent time this evening looking at the listings of dogs available at the local shelter. In the weeks leading up to the end for Sheba, I kept thinking I wasn't sure if I'd get another dog. I wasn't sure if I could go through all of that again. I'm still not sure. What with the knowledge that it's going to end in heartbreak and all. Even as soon as a few days after, though, I was up to "well, maybe." Now I'm up to wondering what kind to adopt. Should I get another American Eskimo Dog? Or would I just be comparing the new dog to Sheba and trying to recreate that situation?

I know I'm not ready yet to bring home a new dog. I've still got some recovering to do. I'm still grieving some (I cried a little bit while I was looking through listings), so I'm going to take my time and make sure I'm ready before I make any decisions. Right now it feels a little too much about "replacing" Sheba and that's something to get past. But psychologically, I seem to have moved from the "if" category more to the "when" category as far as adopting another pooch. Maybe sometime next year. We'll see.

Date: 2007-10-22 06:33 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lawgeekgurl.livejournal.com
oh, sweetheart. There are many babies that need homes. You are not trying to replace Sheeba. She led a good life because you took her in and gave her a home and love. A new doggie would not replace her, no question. But giving a new dog a home may be something that is good for both of you! Take your time. Think about it. Hang in there.

Date: 2007-10-22 02:02 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] suzannemarie.livejournal.com
There was an awfully adorable looking Australian cattle dog/Blue heeler mix on the list. I don't think I'm quite ready yet, but I take the interest and the way it's sticking in my mind as a sign that I'm getting there. Maybe after the holidays.

Date: 2007-10-22 06:00 pm (UTC)
ext_1038: (Default)
From: [identity profile] rainbow.livejournal.com
*hugs* i think it is very normal when you had a very happy time with someone who died to grieve and then hope you can find that happiness again!

and i hope you won't deny yourself joy because there will be sad at the end. most animals don't live as long as most ppl, but they bring so much joy.

i would not give up my happy memories of mousebait for ANYTHING even knowing he would be going home before me and how much i'd still miss him after a year.

HUGHUGHUGHUG xoxoxoxo from boo

Date: 2007-10-22 06:43 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] suzannemarie.livejournal.com
Thanks. I'm almost there again.

I'm not sure why I started crying when I was looking at the dog listing (I hadn't honestly cried about Sheba for awhile) but I think it probably means I've still got some healing yet to go.

Now that I've had some time to recover, the joy is totally worth the sadness--for a little while I wasn't so sure that it was.

Date: 2007-10-22 07:13 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] raithen.livejournal.com
oh, {{{hugs}}}

this? is one of the reasons I like you so. And the other two on this page. Y'all get it.

And I am so sorry it still hurts, but remember that Sheba's watching over you now, sending you love and healing. She'll let you know when the right dog is looking for you.

Date: 2007-10-22 08:33 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] suzannemarie.livejournal.com
I'm kinda of operating on the hope/belief that the right dog will appear for me at the right time.

Somehow, I didn't expect it to be quite this hard, but I know it'll get better. It is actually better. I have a suspicion that what I've been feeling for the last day or so is part of the final letting go process. One last stage to work through.

Date: 2007-10-22 10:06 pm (UTC)
ext_1038: (Default)
From: [identity profile] rainbow.livejournal.com
i think that our culture is funny about grief. mama always said that tears honor the one you are grieving for and i like that way of thinking.

and it does come in waves soemtimes. i can be fine and then suddenly i can't stop crying. i think it is normal for unexpected tears for a good while after a loss.

Date: 2007-10-22 10:55 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] rgreeneyes.livejournal.com
when my first cat died I had another cat but I couldn't live without Rio and went and got a black kitten that night. I also got a black and white kitten (his sister). I named him rio2. He has never really been a replacement for Rio but he did help fill a void. over the years he has turned into my husband and daughters cat more than mine, the sister is more my cat.

The other cat I had back then is the one that just passed a few weeks ago. i didn't have the same desire for a replacement. I loved him and I miss him but it's not the same as it was with Rio


I know that I will have to go through the agony of losing each and every one of the pets I have. It's a bit daungting at times. The way I get through it is to think about just how much love they all give while they are with me.

I also realize that the love I had for Rio is never replaced. The new pets all touch my heart but will never take the place of the most special animal I've ever known.

I think Sheba would want you to share your love with another dog that otherwise wouldn't have a loving owner. (hugs) She will probably whisper in their ear and tell them how lucky they are. ;)

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